euu typedd*:
blog
(Wednesday, June 29, 2005-)
+6:56 PM]*
# Listening to: Gackt - Mirror-
Had my 2nd 3 km run this week. 3 weeks of inactivity has drastically reduced my physical fitness. Halfway through the 1st run on Monday, I'm experiencing difficulties already. Today's run was better, though, but my pull ups are still stuck at 4. -_-ll I need to train up.
Thanks to the people who encouraged me like Neil, Cherie, Darling, my bunk mates etc...Oh well, thought it out for a while and yeah, I'll just hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Besides, if I didn't make it through the air grading, I'll just apply for WSO instead. ^^; I'll just apply for the positions until I eventually get one, and maybe I'll pass through 2 years of NS just through application process alone. :lol: Well, if everything else fails, there's always NIE for me. I've wanted to be a teacher for quite a while already, and now, I guess my aim is to at least try for a military vocation first, whether it be navy or the air force. No way am I gonna throw myself into the army.
Had my first game of soccer in ages today. No doubt by now, I suck at soccer. Not just normal suck, but it's more of the ultimate suck type. Haha. And I injured 2 of the guys today: my ball went straight at Ivan's face, which bent his specs and caused a wound somewhere on the upper eyelid. The strange thing is, he's on my team. Hmmm... The second one was at Joshua's elbow, which got us a free kick, since he's in the opposing team. The bottom line is: I'm a player killer. DON'T ask me for any soccer games. Basketball is my cup of tea. Guys should ALWAYS use their hands more than their legs. Always.
Question of the day: How the hell do you pronounce '!Xobile' ? XD
the story ends like this;
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(Sunday, June 26, 2005-)
+5:28 PM]*
# Listening to: Sakura Wars - Dorimu Yume no Pondo-
just had a chat with Elijah about pilot training so far. Honestly, I'm starting to lose faith in being a pilot. Less than half passed through the air grading for his batch, and I have a feeling I'll be in the other half who failed. *sigh* I'm trying not to pin my hopes too high this time, and I guess my girlfriend was right when she asked if I'm feeling any pressure at the moment, since everyone including her is looking forward to me being a pilot.
Sure, being a pilot sure has its honour and prestige, along with an attractive salary. Initially I signed up for the fun of it, just wanting to book out and skip training. Now that I look at it, I'm actually hoping to be a pilot. When did that thought start to develop? Probably towards the end of BMT, I suppose. I've seen a few others in my company who are dying to be a pilot, who could name me the various tech specs for the aircrafts and even the air bases in Singapore and what are their functions. I know nuts about planes! And here I am, thinking and wanting to be a pilot. Fat hope, I guess. Up till this stage, I have close to zero confidence in myself. Even if I manage to get through the air grading, life in OCS scares the shit out of me. I can barely pass my IPPT! -_-ll
I need advice, badly. *sigh*
the story ends like this;
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(Wednesday, June 22, 2005-)
+11:20 PM]*
# Listening to: X Japan - Rusty Nail-
It's another boring and cold day at SAF Career Centre. *sigh* We're just wasting our time there day by day till our medical examination results are out. If we're lucky, it might be out before 3 months' time for some of us, and we'll fly off to Australia the following month. I just wanna get out of there as soon as I can. =
Oh, and I escaped the run today. Had to do some admin work for Regina and Anqi, which was of extreme mental and physical challenge: sealing letters. *sigh* It sucks, really. Picking up phone calls, taking down messages, spending most of the time rotting away. Best thing of the week would probably be movie screening day. We just watched Saving Private Ryan on Monday, for the entire afternoon. That was the best way we killed time so far.
And I need 2 sureties for my pilot contract. *sigh* I can't approach my parents cos my dad's a taxi-driver and my mum's salary is below $800. My sister's under 21, so she's out too. *sigh* This reminded me of a couple years back, when I was looking for sureties for a study loan from my school. I went around asking my friends and such, but nobody could/would help me. Ended up, I couldn't pay my fees and nearly got suspended. *sigh*
Anyone wanna be my surety? Singaporean, 21 years old and above with monthly income of $800. Probably will end up the same as the previous time. I should just give up being a pilot. :lol:
I am so broke now. I have $15 to last till next month. This sucks.
the story ends like this;
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(Tuesday, June 21, 2005-)
+11:18 PM]*
# Listening to: Initial D 4th Stage - Nobody Reason ~Noah no Hakobune~-
Being a FEP trainee sucks bad. It's a freaking boring job that's similar to being a clerk, and I've realised the downside of being a clerk through this: you've got to pay for every single damn thing. Food and transport is definitely sucking up all my $350. And yes, we're getting $350 instead of $450, since we are service side privates. Argh!
But well, the air con environment is a bonus, as well as the daily book outs. *sigh* And I just realised that I'll be spending 22 months overseas, not 12 months. I always thought it was 12 months. I didn't include the 10 months basic flying course in Pearce, near Perth in Australia. *sigh* 2 months in Tamworth, 10 months in Pearce and 10 months in France, if I become a fighter pilot. Now I'm tempted to be a transport pilot if I have the choice, cos I'll get to train in Singapore instead of France. Imagine going there and knowing nuts about the language. Yes, the thought of meeting French babes is attractive, but forget about having whatever-comes-to-your-mind with them. Conversation! What were you thinking :lol:
But then again, I might not even last through air grading. ^^; So yeah, I'll just take one step at a time. Tomorrow is Sports Day, which means we'll be running 3 km and playing soccer, which I have absolutely no talent in. *sigh* I miss my BMT days already.
I'm loving my girlfriend more and more. She's more understanding, loving and caring than I thought she is. Darling, thanks for everything. =) I love you. I really do.
the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, June 18, 2005-)
+11:50 PM]*
# Listening to: Shadow Skill - I am Shadow Skill-
i take back what i said...i'm sorry darling...and i love you...
the story ends like this;
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(Friday, June 17, 2005-)
+11:04 PM]*
# Listening to: Digimon Adventure - Butterfly-
Money is a deadly item. It can make a family fight, a couple quarrel, best of friends turn against each other and make someone question his own worth. Is money really able to transcend over the value of lives? Is money really that important? Is money more important than human feelings?
I don't know anymore. I'm confused. Was money the main objective?
Laughable, I'd say. Truly laughable. What have I been holding on for all these while? I've been a fool. A terrible fool. :lol: A fucking retard, I'd say.
Now I've come to see the truth. The truth behind everything.
the story ends like this;
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+9:06 PM]*
# Listening to: Slayers Return - Lina and Naga are here-
The more I watch Gundam Wing, the more I realise how stupid I was in the past. The plot wasn't as hard to understand as I remembered. Must be the blasted peabrain I had 10 years ago. ^^;;
*sigh* I'm more and more confused whether I should embark on the route to being a pilot. Good thing about this is that I'll have a guaranteed future (more or less) for my life until 45 years old. But what happens after that? =\ Besides, what about my overseas education? I wanna go study in 2 years' time, but it seems it'll be impossible if I sign on as a pilot, cos you'll need a Cat B in order to freeze your bond and pursue your studies. *sigh*
If I sign on as a WSO (C3), I'll be able to study locally after my training in 2 years' time, but since it's a bond of only 4 years, I might not be able to secure a high paying job next time, since everyone's studying life sciences and I'm not at all strong in this field. I've always wanted to teach, though. Should I give up this dream and go for something more realistic?
*sigh* The dilemma. It's killing me.
Gah, the bloody OP of Ragnarok the Animation is playing. Probably divine sign to tell me to stop typing and switch the playlist. I need divine revelation on this issue! Argh!
Help, anyone?
the story ends like this;
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+11:57 AM]*
# Listening to: Glay - Freeze My Love-
I got into the Air Force! =) *phew* But I'm having doubts about being a pilot. *sigh* I'm thinking of becoming a WSO (C3) instead, since the pay are actually similar. On top of that, I'll get to spend more time with my loved ones and friends. *sigh* 12 months overseas seem a little too much for me to handle. -_-ll Gah, I shall ask the chief clerk on Monday for advice.
Watched Batman Begins with darling on Wednesday, thanks to SAFRA's complimentary tickets. ^^; It wasn't really that exciting, actually. Just another Batman movie. =X Elaine will probably kill me for this. XD The plot is interesting enough to keep me awake all these while, and it gives an insight to the background of Bruce Wayne. But it seriously doesn't link up with the first Batman movie. Joker (or rather, his 'name card') appears towards the end of the movie. It's different from the first Batman movie starring Jack Nicholson. Gah, watch it and you'll know what I mean.
This is the season to fall sick easily. -_-ll Been terribly unwell and darling is falling sick too. Bloody weather. *sigh*
Oh well, back to my Gundam Wing.
the story ends like this;
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(Tuesday, June 14, 2005-)
+10:08 PM]*
# Slayers Next - Lives to Fall, Lives to Leave Behind-
*sigh* I'm starting to feel that I'm not good enough for my girlfriend.
I'm not good-looking enough. I'm not tall enough. I got too many pimples. I'm not thin enough. I'm not rich enough. I'm just not freaking good enough.
If you ever find someone better, just tell me about it and I'll let you go...
the story ends like this;
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(Sunday, June 12, 2005-)
+12:53 AM]*
# Listening to: Gundam Wing - Last Impression-
Happy 21st birthday, hushie! ^^ Ok, maybe it's not official yet (it's just 1 more day ^^;;) but here's a be-earlied birthday greeting. =)
Went for hushie's birthday party at her uncle's place in Toa Payoh today. Resembles a lot like Jasmine's, even the corridor looks similar. Makes me wonder if the architect(s) (is)are the same person? Hmmm...
Anyway, brought darling along with me today. Felt a little awkward there, cos she's always not herself around people she's not familiar with. :lol: Talked a bit with the League to catch up, joked around with my nemesis, Ivy (XD) and stuff. It was great catching up with them. And Cherie, I really think you lost weight. Haha
I owe Cherie a KTV treat, because I couldn't make it for the previous one. ^^;; and now, she wants to play mahjong. So, mahjong anyone? Next Friday. =)
the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, June 09, 2005-)
+9:07 PM]*
# Listening to: Dream Theatre - YTSE Jam-
After 13 weeks in BMTC 1/B, I've finally gained freedom from that damned place. I have finally graduated! Experienced a mix of feelings yesterday as I left my bunk for the final time. I felt incredibly happy to be away from Bronco, the company I would wish to forget about but just can't, and the OC I'd love to see in the obituaries. Yet, tears welled up as I looked at the bunk before we left. Just 3 months ago, we were sitting around the table, doing self introduction. I still remember I had to use Jian kai's wooden cabinet as my temporary chair, and the door fell off. It seemed like years ago, yet felt like it was yesterday. Memories just kept coming back, and I just teared. I couldn't believe that yes, we are graduating and we will be going our own ways from now on. There's a possibility that we will not ever see each other again. *imitates Ridzuan* wrong, there's still the platton outing. :lol:
I'm gonna miss my bunk mates terribly, and my platoon mates as well. I'm gonna miss the sergeants I met, my platoon sergeant Eugene ("Yew Gin! Yew Gin!), my PC 2WO Razali, and the other 3 PCs who did their best for us. We were their first batch of recruits, so they weren't really used to our farked up-ness yet. ^^; Oh yes, and our CMS, MSG Eric Kan. He's really a nice guy. I swore his eyes were reddened after the POP and his voice sounded weird too. Go figure. Haha.
The one and ONLY person I wouldn't miss will be the OC. *sigh* I didn't like the way he handled things, how he tried so hard to squeeze praises out of us but to no avail, cos we held on to our morals and refused to carry balls. =) There's a lot of things that could have been done more efficiently, but nope, he wants it that way. I'll remember Bronco for the waiting time everyday, for the inefficiency, and for the late bookouts. I will remember the fact we never had a Friday bookout (except Good Friday) and especially winning the Games Day but no day off. Oh, and all the fatigue work we had to do, because we are a warrant company. :lol:
I'll miss Ek Son's 'everyday~', Chi Yuan's expression when I do milk shake, Augustin's funny and random antics, Jian Hao's washing hands ritual (he washes his hands more than 20 times a day, mind you.), Leonard's underwear, Roy's banana licking technique, Boon Gee's hokkien songs, Jing Wei's radio and our daily dosage of Lao Shu Ai Dai Mi, Hong Yong meowing and biological knowledge, Jian Kai's stoner face and porn collection, Daryl's SAJC t-shirt and his random concert, Qiao Zhi's random jokes like 'have you packed your rifle into your duffel bag?'. I'll miss everything about Bronco platoon 3 section 3. I'll miss the times of our gathering in the bunk, where we'll listen to 93.3 FM playing Lao Shu Ai Da Mi. The shit things we did together, how we encouraged each other, and how they have made an impact on my life. I won't forget them till the day I die. Gah, tears are welling up again.
13 weeks of sleeping in the same room, seeing each other almost everyday, doing shit together, laughing at each other. I felt weird when I woke up this morning. Things were just so different. During the 13 weeks, I'd long for my bed at home every single day, waiting to book out, waiting for POP, but today, I wanna sleep in my bunk again. I want to wake up because of someone walking past my window, or someone switching on the lights or the occasional "Eugene, it's time to fall in." I wanna queue up to draw my rifle again, my B 141 aka Zhen Zhen. I want to wake up with my mosquito net above me, my id tag under my pillow. Sleeping with my boots still on.
Oh, and Qiao Zhi just called me. :lol:
*sigh* I hate being so emotional. But surprisingly, I didn't cry during the graduation parade yesterday. I thought I'd surely cry, but I was probably too tired to do so. ^^;;
the story ends like this;
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(Sunday, June 05, 2005-)
+5:02 PM]*
# Listening to: Slayers - Kujikenai Kara!-
3 MORE DAYS TO POP! Woo hoo~ And it'll really be a very slack 3 days for me. I got reckee trooper/rifleman selection on Monday, which excuses me from AGR (ability group run), and I got a dental appointment on Tuesday morning as well. And Wednesday is POP! No more recruit's life!
Finally received my graduation ceremony invitation letter. Damn. My graduation ceremony is on 11th July. All the while I was hoping it to be within my BMT period. But if I get into a crappy unit, I can take a day's leave as well. ^^ And I have a graduation dinner on 16th July as well, but darling's birthday is on the 17th. Hmmm...Dilemma. -_-ll
I'll be booking in soon, even though I don't want to. *sigh* The thought of seeing Jeremy Leow again irks me. Blah.
Good Lord, have mercy on his accursed and pathetic soul.
the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, June 04, 2005-)
+8:30 PM]*
# Listening to: Fushigi Yuugi - Otome Ranman-
in all my anger, I have not posted about my week. Silly me.
Had SOC on Monday, which totally sucked. I failed the bloody swing trainer because of my sweaty palms! And I had no freaking half gloves. It was hot day too. Heard the heat alert siren for the first time in a long while. But SOC went on anyway. Failed like crap.
Tuesday was my 24 km route march. We started at 3.30 pm and was scheduled to end at 2330 hrs. As usual, we ended late, around 0130 hrs, and all of us ended up as zombies. Zzzzzz. It was freaking tiring. Then we expected Wednesday to be a relaxing day, when we can rest in our bunks but NOOooo. We drew arms in the morning, cleaned our rifles for an entire hour under supervision, then went for E coy's POP. 6 months of BMT have finally finished for them and I feel glad for them. So off we went, reached parade square at 1400 hrs and waited for 2 hours. Why the hell were we there so early for? But the Eagles were an excellent bunch of people. Very fun-loving too.
Had Basic Assault Course on Thursday. Oh who the heck invented this crap?! Crawled through the muddy pool of water and nearly drowned. -_-;; I imagined my freaking OC's face on the dummy and whacked it real darn hard. I swore the head came off after I rifle-butt it. XD
Everyone was dead tired and we haven't even recovered from the 24 km route march 2 days back, and later that day, we had IPPT re-test! Oh what the hell~ I injured my tail bone in the process. =\ I actually injured it in the previous IPPT, but it was recovering until I did the SBJ during the latest one and crack! The injury came back. I couldn't even run shuttle run. Had to fall out. T_T I wanna sign on~ Argh!
I don't like my company. There's a lot of things that can be done in another way that's more effective, but noooooo~ the OC just LOVES to do it that way. Time is wasted everytime. or example. We waited 1 whole hour to draw arms, did area cleaning, barely cleaned the rifles and then send arms. Why did we even have to stay in till Saturday? It was a total waste of time. Not to mention, the rifles weren't even cleaned properly. We're drawing rifles for the sake of drawing rifles!
Darling, I'm sorry. I had a bad week. I apologise for the harsh things I said. =\ But you! You will get it from me tomorrow! *evil*
Yes yes, ilu. you know I do. =)
the story ends like this;
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+4:33 PM]*
# Listening to : Saishu Heiki Kanajo - Kokoro no Kage-
you don't know what's wrong with me at all. I've had a tough week, my friend went into Detention Barracks because of a stupid idiot who messed his up life totally. And now, you're throwing a bloody tantrum at me and breaking all contact with me.
I'll accept it. My week has been totally screwed up anyway. What else can be worse? Bring it on!
You didn't even bother to sms me for the past few days, preferring to stay out late at night with your friends whom I don't even know. Worse still, ALONE with 2 guys. And when I said I'm damn tired, you get farking pissed.
Hello? The world doesn't revolve around you alone. I'm a human, not a farking dog. I went through one freaking tough week, injured my freaking tail-bone, which requires an x-ray next week (Ha! I bet YOU don't know THAT, do you? Of course, why am I NOT surprised?!) and my platoon mate went into DB, which equals to jail. For what? For punching a bastard who deserved that punch. Worse still, that bastard only got a restricted privileges sentence (meaning no booking out, no phone calls, no smoking etc.) for 5 days. And my friend? 5 freaking days in DB.
There goes his OCS dream. There goes his university dream. There goes his life.
Fark you, Jeremy Leow Wei Xiong, farking dropout from CJC, bloody bastard, jerk and lowest life scum on Earth, you CBK! Yes! You deserve the name CBK VERY WELL. AND HELL YEAH! Come punch me if you want. I'll get RP for 5 days and YOU will go DB, you __ piece of shit!
Did I mention I had an argument with him earlier this morning? Ha! Farking dropout. He has no tolerance and no intelligence. He's in trouble and he's still looking for more. I hope he gets what he deserves in the near future. So what if he is farking rich? He'll probably squander away his family fortune by the age of 25 and spend the remaining years begging for a living. And I'll kick his ass and spit at him, for being such a bastard in his younger days. Kids these days just can't think, for crying out loud.
And yeah, to add fuel to the flame, YOU just HAD to pick a fight with me. Yeah, I'll say again: Bring it on! You just don't realise how mentally and physically draining it was for me for this week. Why? BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO FREAKING CALL ME OR ASK ME ABOUT MY FARKING PISSED WEEK! YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR BLOODY ZHIWEI, SMAUEL AND YOUR FARKING CHANGI WHICH YOU WENT TWICE IN A ROW. YOU'D RATHER GO OUT ON LATE NIGHTS WITH THEM, THAN TO GIVE ME A FREAKING MSG. WORSE STILL, WHEN YOU SAID YOU'LL MSG ME, YOU NEVER DID. NEVER.
In case you don't know, I'm farking pissed. I'm sick of yourinsensitivity. I'm sick of your self-centred-ness. I'm sick of having to accomodate to you, when you don't even a damn about how I feel, what I am thinking and how farking tired I am. You know NOTHING about me, yet you want ME to know every SINGLE DAMN THING ABOUT YOU. You always said I am never there when you need me. See the similarity? YOU ARE NEVER THERE WHEN I NEED YOU.
ilu? imu? Stop lying to me and to yourself. Think about what I msged you. You no longer have any feelings towards me anymore. I'm now a routine of your life. You're with me for the sake of being with me, not for love or whatever fark there is.
You want us to not contact each other? Sure. We'll do that, FOR THE REST OF MY FARKING LIFE. I. Will. Not. Pick. Up. Your. Calls. Or. Reply. Your. Msgs. Ever.
Bring it on.
the story ends like this;
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